• The first human communication principle stipulates that: “each behavior is a communication that generates in turn an important reply to another behavior-communication.”

  • The first human communication principle stipulates that: “each behavior is a communication that generates in turn an important reply to another behavior-communication.”

  • The first human communication principle stipulates that: “each behavior is a communication that generates in turn an important reply to another behavior-communication.”

  • The family is a self-regulated system that is autonomously governed by means of rules fixed in time through trial and error.

  • The family is a self-regulated system that is autonomously governed by means of rules fixed in time through trial and error.

  • In the social jungle of human existence, nobody can feel alive if they have no sense of identity.

    Erik H. Erikson: Identity, youth and crisis.

  • In the social jungle of human existence, nobody can feel alive if they have no sense of identity.

    Erik H. Erikson: Identity, youth and crisis.

  • Nietzsche, through his motto “Become what you are”, encourages us to avoid an unbearable life. He urges us to realize ourselves, to make use of our capabilities, and to live our lives with boldness and to the fullest extent.

  • Nietzsche, through his motto “Become what you are”, encourages us to avoid an unbearable life. He urges us to realize ourselves, to make use of our capabilities, and to live our lives with boldness and to the fullest extent.

  • Nietzsche associates the quote “What does not kill me, makes me stronger” with the idea that a tree, having suffered harsh storms and having plunged its roots all the deeper into the earth, grows taller and becomes stronger.

  • Nietzsche associates the quote “What does not kill me, makes me stronger” with the idea that a tree, having suffered harsh storms and having plunged its roots all the deeper into the earth, grows taller and becomes stronger.

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The power of desire

Our desires have a tremendous power and are capable of rejuvenating us, leading us to changes in life in which we find our creativity.

Desire is the energy for life. It is the power that drives us to change our lifestyle, discover what makes us feel good, develop or interrupt relationships with other people, change the area we live in or the type of job we do. Furthermore, desires help us bring our unique tendencies and capabilities to the surface and this way we reach a self-realization state through uniquely caring about our self.

If we pay attention to nature around us which works by all the physical laws, we will see for example that the bee knows exactly how to make honey without being taught by someone. Likewise, the seed knows exactly how to make fruit and so on. In a similar way, people are driven towards their own ambitions, their own personal self-realization through the power of ones desires.

At this point I would like to highlight that, it’s not the kind of desire we have, rather it’s how did we get to the point to have a specific desire. Without this realization, we often get caught up in a chase of goals without feeling any satisfaction or contentment. At that point we have to reconsider the choices we made and focus the energy of our desires elsewhere. We have to focus our energy on what really expresses us. This way, pleasure is sure to follow.

Oftentimes we make the mistake to expect happiness from someone or something. It is important though to escape that false mental state we are trapped in. Our expectations are responsible for blocking our real desires through cognitive schemas such as “how love must be” or “how life must be”, human relationships, our professional life etc.

Our decisions are often made using our logic and beginning from ourselves. Only by truly understanding our feelings at every moment are we be able to understand how we feel and therefore our true desires will come to the surface.  

What really matters is to bring our real needs which are in the unconscious to a conscious level. We are able to do this by paying attention to the messages that our own body gives us through a variety of bodily symptoms.

Being stuck in situations due to our habits is the true enemy, because this way we are unable to change, to learn something new and advance, which is a requirement of life itself.    

It is obvious that in situations like these there is some kind of a mental battle going on. On one side there is our EGO filled with egoism and personal expectations and on the other side there is our true self compassion and self love that we have for ourselves.

Oftentimes we feel that we are not free human beings. This happens because we have given our ego too much space. Too many thoughts, and all sorts of remedies that get us into situations we feel trapped again. And so, we create new boundaries that stop our energy once again.

  1. N. Kazantzakis (1883-1957) once said: “ I don’t hope for anything. I don’t fear anything. I am free”.

For Carl Jung, (1875-1961) a Swiss psychiatrist, desire corresponds with our mental energy which gives us the needed vital push. The free expression of desires helps the person make changes in life which when combined with maturity, he/she reaches self-realization.

The biggest obstacle in our self realization is our own self. It’s our false understanding that we “must” serve that feeling of duty and obligation that we often feel which is of course accompanied by feelings of guilt. These feelings are derived from prepossessions and somewhat weird beliefs. That’s why it is important to serve our own dream and not someone else’s. We too, often become as in the ancient drama of  Aeschylus (525-456 B.C) “Prometheus the Bound” who through the conviction of Zeus, was punished because the meaning of sin, blasphemy and guild was predetermined.

Every day we wake up is a brand new day because we ourselves are brand new. We owe it to our self to take care of our self, dress in a way that makes us feel good and ware our best smile. This attitude toward life is the key to live not only happy moments, but full happy days leaving behind all of our false expectations and life programming that simply doesn’t suit us.

Nobody can take away our right to desire and dream.

Spiros Metaxas Psychiatrist-Psychotherapist

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